Wholeness Alone, Wholeness in Community
Forever connected to the flow of God’s love
By Lizzie Robbins | Ecclesial Cultivator, The Neighborhood Garden Project
“Let him who cannot be alone beware of community... Let him who is not in community beware of being alone... Each by itself has profound perils and pitfalls. One who wants fellowship without solitude plunges into the void of words and feelings, and the one who seeks solitude without fellowship perishes in the abyss of vanity, self-infatuation and despair.”
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together: The Classic Exploration of Faith in Community
“But many of us seek community solely to escape the fear of being alone. Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.”
― Bell Hooks, All About Love: New Visions
What is more challenging for you–being alone or being with others? For me, it’s being in community. During the pandemic, I became practiced in being alone. I like to stay in the energy I cultivate in my alone time. I connect with myself and my purpose during long walks or while gardening, as my mind slows. I do the things I love. I experience creative flow. I talk to God.
Being in community is a challenge when it becomes harder to maintain my energetic field. People approach complaining, and want me to agree. I am invited to pity parties. Conversations I don’t like the tone of spring up around me. I can quickly become judgmental of others in these scenarios. And of course, which community matters. It’s much easier to maintain my peace at my yoga studio and in the garden.
The garden offers a place to connect with community and a place to be alone. You can choose the times you show up, you can coordinate with friends or not, and even when you go alone, you can be quiet, connected to the flow of God’s love, while fellow gardeners work around you.
Both aloneness and community are necessary for wholeness. Look at this lone pink cone flower; even as she is the only one of her kind blooming, she is connected to the wider community of plants in my garden.
What if there is nothing to escape from and nothing to escape to? The garden is a sanctuary for those in need of quiet that allows them to show up for themselves and others. And it offers a space for a loving community of those who work out their challenges by working with the earth and with one another.
